Partners and Doulas
A DONA International Birth Doula Topic Sheet:
Dads and Doulas: Key Players on Mother's Labor Support Team
There was a time when expectant fathers were portrayed as anxious, floor-
pacing, cigar smoking men who were tolerated in hospital corridors until the
long-awaited moment when a nurse or doctor would announce they were the
proud father of a daughter or a son. Today's expectant fathers are different.
When it comes to pregnancy, birth, and parenting, today's father wants to
share everything with his partner. He wants to be actively involved; ease his
partner’s labor pain, welcome his baby at the moment of birth and help care
for his newborn at home. A labor Doula can help a father experience this
special time with confidence.
The word "Doula" which comes from ancient Greek, today refers to a woman
trained and experienced in childbirth. A Doula provides continuous physical,
emotional, and informational support to the expectant mother and her partner
during labor, delivery and in the immediate postpartum period. The wisdom
and emotional support of experienced women at birth is an ancient tradition.
Studies show that when Doulas are present at birth, women have shorter
labors, fewer medical interventions, fewer cesareans and healthier babies.
Recent evidence also suggests that when a Doula provides labor support,
women are more satisfied with their experience and the mother-infant
interaction is enhanced as long as two months after the birth.
With Doula support, fathers tend to stay more involved with their partner
rather than pull away in times of stress. Today, a father's participation in birth
preparation classes or his presence at prenatal visits and in the delivery suite
is a familiar occurrence. Yet, we sometimes forget that the expectations of his
role as a "labor coach" may be difficult to fulfill. Sometimes it is also culturally
inappropriate for an expectant father to be so intimately involved in the
process of labor and birth.
The Father-to-be is expected among other things to become familiar with the
process and language of birth, to understand medical procedures and
hospital protocols and advocate for his partner in an environment and culture
he is usually unfamiliar with. A Doula can provide the information to help
parents make appropriate decisions and facilitate communication between the
laboring woman, her partner and medical care providers.
At times a father may not understand a woman’s instinctive behavior during
childbirth and may react anxiously to what a Doula knows to be the normal
process of birth. He may witness his partner in pain and understandably
become distressed. The Doula can be reassuring and skillfully help the
mother to cope with labor pain in her unique way.
The Father-to-be may need to accompany his partner during surgery should
a cesarean becomes necessary. Not all fathers can realistically be expected
to "coach" at this intense level. Many fathers are eager to be involved during
labor and birth. Others, no less loving or committed to their partner's well
being find it difficult to navigate in uncharted waters. With a Doula, a father
can share in the birth at a level he feels most comfortable with. The Doula’s
skills and knowledge can help him to feel more relaxed. If the father wants to
provide physical comfort such as back massage, change of positions, and
help his partner to stay focused during contractions, the Doula can provide
that guidance and make suggestions for what may work best.
Physicians, midwives and nurses are responsible for monitoring labor,
assessing the medical condition of the mother and baby, and treating
complications when they arise. But childbirth is also an emotional and spiritual
experience with long-term impact on a woman's personal well being. A Doula
is constantly aware that the mother and her partner will remember this
experience throughout their lives. By “mothering the mother” during childbirth
the Doula supports the parents in having a positive and memorable birth
experience. The benefits of Doula care have been recognized worldwide. The
Medical Leadership Council of Washington, D.C, the Society of Obstetricians
and Gynaecologists of Canada and the World Health Organization are among
the many health care organizations that value the benefits that Doulas
provide to women in labor.
The father's presence and loving support in childbirth is comforting and
reassuring. The love he shares with the mother and his child, his needs to
nurture and protect his family are priceless gifts that only he can provide. With
her partner and a Doula at birth a mother can have the best of both worlds:
her partner’s loving care and attention and the Doulas expertise and
guidance in childbirth.
Myths About Dads and Doulas
By Penny Simkin, P.T.
Myth 1 – If a woman has her partner, the Doula becomes
redundant.
Reality – The Doula may be the only person at the labor besides the partner
who is there solely for the emotional well-being of the woman. The nurse, the
doctor, the midwife have other priorities that compete with the emotional care
of the woman: for example, breaks, shift changes, clinical responsibilities,
office hours and hospital policies. The Doula has few or no other priorities.
She stays through shift changes, and until after the baby is born. She is not
just another stranger with the couple, she has the woman’s needs as her sole
priority. In some cases, the couple will bring several other friends or family
members into labor with them. Sometimes these people can be uncertain of
how to help which leads to confusion and actually adds to the woman’s stress.
The Doula can direct and coordinate the efforts of a group of people, giving
them all something useful to do, so they work as a team on the woman’s
behalf.
Myth 2 – The Doula “takes over”, displacing the partner and
interferes with their intimate experience.
Reality – The Doula can actually bring the couple closer. By making sure that
the partner’s needs are met (food, drink, occasional back rubs, and
reassurance), the woman and partner can work more closely together. The
Doula allows for the partner to participate at his own comfort level. Some
partners prefer to be there only to witness the birth of their child and to share
this experience with the woman they love. They may not want to play an active
role and do not want to be responsible for the woman’s comfort and emotional
security. The Doula can fill in and allow the partner to participate as he
wishes, without leaving the woman’s needs unmet. When the partner chooses
to be the major source of emotional support, the Doula can supplement his or
her efforts by running errands, making suggestions for comfort measures,
and offering words of reassurance and comfort. During a long tiring labor, she
can give the partner a break for a brief rest or change of scene. While the
Doula probably knows more than the partner about birth, hospitals, and
maternity care, the partner knows more about the woman's personality, likes
and dislikes, and needs. Moreover, he loves the woman more than anyone
else there. The combined contributions of partner and Doula, along with a
competent, considerate and caring staff gives the woman the best chance of
an optimal outcome.
Myth 3 – The Doula has her own belief about how the birth
should go, and imposes it on the woman or couple.
Reality – The Doula’s true agenda is to help ensure that the woman’s or
couple’s agenda is acknowledged and followed as much as possible. If the
Doula is thoroughly familiar with the couple’s wishes and their birth plan, she
may actually think more about it than the couple, especially when labor is
intense and things are happening rapidly. The Doula can remind the staff or
the couple of some items on the birth plan that are forgotten, but which later
might be important. Sometimes if a birth plan is not followed, the couple later
look back with regret or disappointment. The Doula helps with decision-
making by asking questions that will ensure that the right information is given
to the woman or couple so that they can make an informed decision. She may
also suggest alternatives for the couple to consider. She does not, however,
make decisions for the couple.
In summary, the Doula helps make the birth experience to be as
rewarding and satisfying as possible. As one father said “I heaved
a big sigh of relief when she (the Doula) walked in. I had not
realized how much pressure I had been feeling. She not only
calmed my wife, she calmed me down”.
A DONA International Birth Doula Topic Sheet:
Dads and Doulas: Key Players on Mother's Labor Support Team
There was a time when expectant fathers were portrayed as anxious, floor-
pacing, cigar smoking men who were tolerated in hospital corridors until the
long-awaited moment when a nurse or doctor would announce they were the
proud father of a daughter or a son. Today's expectant fathers are different.
When it comes to pregnancy, birth, and parenting, today's father wants to
share everything with his partner. He wants to be actively involved; ease his
partner’s labor pain, welcome his baby at the moment of birth and help care
for his newborn at home. A labor Doula can help a father experience this
special time with confidence.
The word "Doula" which comes from ancient Greek, today refers to a woman
trained and experienced in childbirth. A Doula provides continuous physical,
emotional, and informational support to the expectant mother and her partner
during labor, delivery and in the immediate postpartum period. The wisdom
and emotional support of experienced women at birth is an ancient tradition.
Studies show that when Doulas are present at birth, women have shorter
labors, fewer medical interventions, fewer cesareans and healthier babies.
Recent evidence also suggests that when a Doula provides labor support,
women are more satisfied with their experience and the mother-infant
interaction is enhanced as long as two months after the birth.
With Doula support, fathers tend to stay more involved with their partner
rather than pull away in times of stress. Today, a father's participation in birth
preparation classes or his presence at prenatal visits and in the delivery suite
is a familiar occurrence. Yet, we sometimes forget that the expectations of his
role as a "labor coach" may be difficult to fulfill. Sometimes it is also culturally
inappropriate for an expectant father to be so intimately involved in the
process of labor and birth.
The Father-to-be is expected among other things to become familiar with the
process and language of birth, to understand medical procedures and
hospital protocols and advocate for his partner in an environment and culture
he is usually unfamiliar with. A Doula can provide the information to help
parents make appropriate decisions and facilitate communication between the
laboring woman, her partner and medical care providers.
At times a father may not understand a woman’s instinctive behavior during
childbirth and may react anxiously to what a Doula knows to be the normal
process of birth. He may witness his partner in pain and understandably
become distressed. The Doula can be reassuring and skillfully help the
mother to cope with labor pain in her unique way.
The Father-to-be may need to accompany his partner during surgery should
a cesarean becomes necessary. Not all fathers can realistically be expected
to "coach" at this intense level. Many fathers are eager to be involved during
labor and birth. Others, no less loving or committed to their partner's well
being find it difficult to navigate in uncharted waters. With a Doula, a father
can share in the birth at a level he feels most comfortable with. The Doula’s
skills and knowledge can help him to feel more relaxed. If the father wants to
provide physical comfort such as back massage, change of positions, and
help his partner to stay focused during contractions, the Doula can provide
that guidance and make suggestions for what may work best.
Physicians, midwives and nurses are responsible for monitoring labor,
assessing the medical condition of the mother and baby, and treating
complications when they arise. But childbirth is also an emotional and spiritual
experience with long-term impact on a woman's personal well being. A Doula
is constantly aware that the mother and her partner will remember this
experience throughout their lives. By “mothering the mother” during childbirth
the Doula supports the parents in having a positive and memorable birth
experience. The benefits of Doula care have been recognized worldwide. The
Medical Leadership Council of Washington, D.C, the Society of Obstetricians
and Gynaecologists of Canada and the World Health Organization are among
the many health care organizations that value the benefits that Doulas
provide to women in labor.
The father's presence and loving support in childbirth is comforting and
reassuring. The love he shares with the mother and his child, his needs to
nurture and protect his family are priceless gifts that only he can provide. With
her partner and a Doula at birth a mother can have the best of both worlds:
her partner’s loving care and attention and the Doulas expertise and
guidance in childbirth.
Myths About Dads and Doulas
By Penny Simkin, P.T.
Myth 1 – If a woman has her partner, the Doula becomes
redundant.
Reality – The Doula may be the only person at the labor besides the partner
who is there solely for the emotional well-being of the woman. The nurse, the
doctor, the midwife have other priorities that compete with the emotional care
of the woman: for example, breaks, shift changes, clinical responsibilities,
office hours and hospital policies. The Doula has few or no other priorities.
She stays through shift changes, and until after the baby is born. She is not
just another stranger with the couple, she has the woman’s needs as her sole
priority. In some cases, the couple will bring several other friends or family
members into labor with them. Sometimes these people can be uncertain of
how to help which leads to confusion and actually adds to the woman’s stress.
The Doula can direct and coordinate the efforts of a group of people, giving
them all something useful to do, so they work as a team on the woman’s
behalf.
Myth 2 – The Doula “takes over”, displacing the partner and
interferes with their intimate experience.
Reality – The Doula can actually bring the couple closer. By making sure that
the partner’s needs are met (food, drink, occasional back rubs, and
reassurance), the woman and partner can work more closely together. The
Doula allows for the partner to participate at his own comfort level. Some
partners prefer to be there only to witness the birth of their child and to share
this experience with the woman they love. They may not want to play an active
role and do not want to be responsible for the woman’s comfort and emotional
security. The Doula can fill in and allow the partner to participate as he
wishes, without leaving the woman’s needs unmet. When the partner chooses
to be the major source of emotional support, the Doula can supplement his or
her efforts by running errands, making suggestions for comfort measures,
and offering words of reassurance and comfort. During a long tiring labor, she
can give the partner a break for a brief rest or change of scene. While the
Doula probably knows more than the partner about birth, hospitals, and
maternity care, the partner knows more about the woman's personality, likes
and dislikes, and needs. Moreover, he loves the woman more than anyone
else there. The combined contributions of partner and Doula, along with a
competent, considerate and caring staff gives the woman the best chance of
an optimal outcome.
Myth 3 – The Doula has her own belief about how the birth
should go, and imposes it on the woman or couple.
Reality – The Doula’s true agenda is to help ensure that the woman’s or
couple’s agenda is acknowledged and followed as much as possible. If the
Doula is thoroughly familiar with the couple’s wishes and their birth plan, she
may actually think more about it than the couple, especially when labor is
intense and things are happening rapidly. The Doula can remind the staff or
the couple of some items on the birth plan that are forgotten, but which later
might be important. Sometimes if a birth plan is not followed, the couple later
look back with regret or disappointment. The Doula helps with decision-
making by asking questions that will ensure that the right information is given
to the woman or couple so that they can make an informed decision. She may
also suggest alternatives for the couple to consider. She does not, however,
make decisions for the couple.
In summary, the Doula helps make the birth experience to be as
rewarding and satisfying as possible. As one father said “I heaved
a big sigh of relief when she (the Doula) walked in. I had not
realized how much pressure I had been feeling. She not only
calmed my wife, she calmed me down”.
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| Partners and Doulas |